WANTED
Visitors for a medical humor & satire website. Employment or interest in healthcare field a plus, as is having no life or friends. A discerning sense of humor will work against you. Work from home PT/FT, expectations include generating 200-300 unique hits/day. Internet connection provided, must already have a computer. Contact: Dr. Karl Newman 24/7.

STUDY SUBJECTS WANTED
Req. 12-14 medical students for enrollment in radiology study. Required to have >15cm lipoma on either back or fore-arm. Biopsy proven a plus. Fear of small places preferred. Those allergic to contrast dye need not apply. Reimbursement contingent on lipoma size. Contact Dr. Phillip Meiup at Northsouthern University.

IMMEDIATE OPENING
Exciting fellowship opportunity in Western Tennessee. 1st year GI fellowship opening. US Residency only. Long index finger on dominant hand a must. Tolerance for malodorous body fluids recommended. Fine motor control and fly-fishing experience along with 3000+ hours on 80's style video games will help with transition to exciting new career. Send CV and three letters, any three letters to Dr. A. V. Malfomatt.