Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

December 10, 2003 | Volume 4, Issue 3

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Novel Peptide Identified

Procrastinatin reaction catalyzed by inafukindase

PHILADELPHIA, PA--Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have identified a physiologically active peptide that is thought to play a pivotal role in the initiation and sustaining of goal-oriented behavior in animals and humans.

In a paper presented by Carlene Bolenbaugh, Ph.D. last week at the Lamere Institute For Biotechnology, the characteristics and pharmacokinetics of the peptide, dubbed “procrastinatin,” were outlined:

Figure 1: Side chains (1,2) being cleaved from pre-procrastinatin (P) by the enzyme inafukindase (IFD) to form procrastinatin, a peptide strongly associated with what you got done today. The yellow oval is labeled “β”, which is like Greek for “b”. Pac Man appears at lower right.
Click here for Powerpoint slide

“An elevated serum level of procrastinatin correlates quite remarkably with a basic inability to get things done,” said Bolenbaugh. “Basically, the higher your level is, the longer it’ll take you to get around to doing what you should probably have been doing last month and the month before.”

“For example, take the fact that this paper took me more than six years to write. See, I can explain that: Due to near-toxic levels of inafukindase, I spent most of the last decade in a procrastinatin coma.”

Scientists are now being urged to develop inhibitor molecules to counteract the neurological effects of procrastinatin and inafukindase.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” says Bolenbaugh. “Soon. Real soon.”

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