Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

August 9, 2000 | Volume 1, Issue 5

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New Shampoo Offers Hope To Alzheimer’s Sufferers

Rinses away plaques and tangles

BETHESDA, MD—In an astonishing medical breakthrough, scientists today announced that a new commercial shampoo may help wash away the amyloid plaques and tangles that characterize Alzheimer's disease. The shampoo, "Silky Science 100TM," is also purported to give hair more bounce and body than other national brands.

Silky Science 100TM

According to Dr. Herschel McDonald, of the National Institute of Neurological Diseases and Stroke, the brains of severely impaired individuals who regularly shampooed with Silky Science 100TM showed 50% fewer neurofibrillary tangles at autopsy. Clinical improvement was also noted, with regular shampooers 65% more likely to correctly state the sentence "Mmmmm, my hair never FELT so silky" than individuals who did not shampoo regularly.

Hal Quinton, a hairdresser at Hal's Hair Heaven in Miami Beach, FL, said that he had noted cognitive improvement among his largely elderly clientelle almost immediately. "The volume of purses forgotten in the store went way down", he said. "And most of the people who work here are telling me that the clients are repeating themselves far less. As far as the hair goes, the results are fabulous. It really does give a silkiness to the hair."

Dr. McDonald cautioned that the exciting results were preliminary, and that ongoing studies would be needed to confirm the promise of Silky Science 100TM. "We want to remain cautious," he said. "Favorable reports in the media have led to inappropriate use of the shampoo among individuals with other medical illlnesses, and even among individuals who are simply absent minded, and we want to make it clear to the public that excess use of Silky Science 100TM can lead to dry, fly-away hair that is difficult to manage."

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