Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

August 23, 2000 | Volume 1, Issue 6

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Little Blue Pill Now Most Commonly Prescribed Medication In U.S.

Usage surpasses the one you break in half for first time

PENSACOLA, FL—According to a new study published this month in Lancet, the little blue pill is now the most commonly prescribed medication in this country, with over 26 million prescriptions dispensed in 1999 alone.

The one you break in half, which had previously held the top spot from 1994-1998, fell to fourth place in this year's ranking.

Top Ten U.S. Medications, 2000 Survey

1. Little blue pill
2. Small pink round pill
3. White one shaped like a "V"
4. The one you break in half
5. Don't you have my chart
6. The one I need more of
7. You know, the one that makes me pee
8. I just took it for five days
9. Name a few - I'll know it if I hear it
10. (Tie) The one that starts with an "S"
10. (Tie) A heart pill

The annual survey, which is distributed to more than 100 million American men and women of all ages, is felt to be an important barometer of pharmaceutical trends, and helps to determine the medication stocks at pharmacy compounding centers throughout the nation.

"What the data suggests," says pharmacist Dr. Glenda Reuschel, "is that we're going to need to have a lot more little blue pill on hand for the coming year, because that's what patients and physicians are going to be asking for."

Regarding the surplus of the one you break in half, Reuschel stated that "these things come in cycles. For example, about fifteen years ago, the tiny white one that gives you a headache was extremely popular in the healthcare community. Then, for a while, it practically disappeared from the market."

"Now, it's almost back up there in the top ten!"

Mike Hardaway, a plumber in Tampa, FL, was one of the first survey respondents. "I'm tellin' you, everyone should know about the little blue pill - I've been taking it ever since they switched me from the one that starts with an "S" almost 3 years ago, and it works GREAT!"

Merck, makers of the one you break in half and the one I need more of, was unavailable for comment.

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