Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

September 20, 2000 | Volume 1, Issue 8

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Top 10 Clues Your Patient Might Have A Drinking Problem

As determined by your votes
10. Carries medications in a plastic beer mug
9. Family history reveals son is named Pabst and daughter is named Bailey's
8. Will schedule no visits next month due to Oktoberfest
7. Asks for prescription for Texas catheter so he/she can sit through entire ballgame
6. Is running for re-election to Massachusettes Senate
5. Offers to let you borrow Miller Lite cooler for when you are transporting organs for transplant
4. Refuses fluconazole treatment because he thinks it will interfere with yeast, barley and hops combination
3. Makes you wipe his arm with Absolut Vodka prior to drawing blood
2. Tired of people criticizing drinking, feels guilty about drinking, has morning eye-opener, is only nine years old
1. Mental status exam reveals patient thinks Republican candidate for President is Anheuser Busch.

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