Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

February 6, 2002 | Volume 3, Issue 1

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Who Is That Guy With The Beard

Notes illegible; ID badge always backwards

NEW YORK, NY--The identity of the guy with the beard remains unclear, say recent reports.

"I think he's an attending," said Dr. Jay Bowden, an intern at New York Presbyterian Hospital. "He's got a white coat and stethoscope, and his hair's all grey and thinning."

Guy with the beard

"Like, maybe he's one of those bigshot researchers that everyone's basically supposed to already know. That would explain why he wears his ID backwards."

Dr. Paula Bellinger, also an intern, disagrees.

"Well, he does write some notes, but I've never seen him actually talking to a patient," she says. "And just because he looks old and wears a white coat doesn't mean he's a doctor."

"I bet he's like a pharmacist or nutritionist or something like that. It's hard to say. I looked at some of his notes the other day and they're totally illegible."

According to Nancy Randall, a nurse on 5 West, the guy with the beard has been making rounds at the hospital for at least fifteen years, and has yet to give any indication as to his name or title.

"Every now and then one of us wil ask him who he is and what he's doing here," says Randall. "He smiles and I think he does try to tell us, but he sort of mumbles and he might have an accent too. You can't understand a single word."

To many, somehow obtaining the man's ID badge itself is the only feasible method of detemining his identity. But previous attempts to do so, by having one person distract him while the other reaches over from behind and grabs it, have been unsuccessful.

"We'll get it," said Dr. Bowden. "We'll get it, all right. One of these days, we'll get it."

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