Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire

October 5, 2005 | Volume 5, Issue 2

E Pluribus Jejunum


The Q Fever! Classifieds

If you can't find it here ... look within yourself™.

Take my two-volume Harrison's ... PLEASE! I'm sick and tired of picking the wrong freaking volume EVERY SINGLE TIME. I mean ... smaller books, easier to carry around: better, right? NOPE. They should put the index on the effing spine so you know what's in there BEFORE taking it off the shelf. At this point will trade for one-volume version of ANYTHING. anon53455_486739@q!fvr.cc

Physician seeking supplemental income. Completed medical education at Universidad Semiautonoma Quasinacional in Republica Fredoniana, then returned to U.S., completing residencies in Internal Medicine, Physiatry, Dermatology, Clinical Pathology, Non-Clinical Pathology, & Somewhat Clinical Pathology at Mayo Clinic Walk-In Center of Encino (no relation to similarly-spelled Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN; have toured Bausch & Lomb factory in Rochester, but couldn't obtain CME despite spending 2 hours in activity and learning a lot). Currently run busy clinical practice & also am Adjunct Professor of Materia Medica and Herbology at Iowa State Penitentiary's Institute for Distance Education in Medicine; also serve as paid consultant & ombudsperson to New York Institute of Technology.  Please contact Dr. Newbagh: anon12495_253422@q!fvr.cc

Non-latex gloves needed. Right now. Aren't we supposed to have a supply of these things? Someone's stashing them somewhere and I want to know who. Who took 'em? Was it you? What kind of hospital is this? Get me administration on the line. Hello, administration? Where are the non-latex gloves? What? No, I can't use the latex kind, OBVIOUSLY. Why not? I get a rash, and ... Look, why the hell does it matter why? I want them right now. Right now! Let me talk to your supervisor. GET YOUR SUPERVISOR! NOW!! anon53409_878053@q!fvr.cc

Single room in North Miami Hospital's Medical ICU available for one month. Current resident going on brief sabbatical; room can be yours immediately! Spacious, furnished, with view and beautiful glass doors. Large single bed - you won't fall out. Three meals a day! Cable TV included. Ventilation system unparalleled. Doctor on premises. Gorgeous physical therapist will walk with you down hallways. No pets. One foot-controlled sink with soap dispenser. You will be bathed in bed daily. Button at side of bed for morphine, other needs. Indwelling urethral catheter must be placed; you'll get used to it. anon52069_569375@q!fvr.cc

150-page collection of medical humor and satire culled from the Q Fever! website, 2000-2002. Aimed towards healthcare professionals, but can be dug by just about anyone. Portable, concise, and packed with protein, carbohydrates and phat. Click here for more information.

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