In Other News

June 14, 2000

Doctor's Thoughtfulness Praised By Colleauges, Patients

NEW YORK, NY—Despite planning to leave for a trip to Belize later that evening, internist Dr. Mitchell Ramsay delayed his departure from the office to leave important information on patient Arturo Rosada's answering machine, describing "ipsilateral right-sided spinal motor neuron degeneration, either a consequence of a demyelinization syndrome or possibly related to ischemia," adding that "I'll be away for a month, so if you have any questions, we'll talk when I get back."

Colleauges have long expressed their admiration for Dr. Ramsay's dedication to good physician-patient communication. "Not many docs take that extra half-minute to let their patients know what's going on with their medical condition," remarked Dr. Rick Doran, also of Westside Medical.

When reached for comment, Rosada also asserted his gratitude for Dr. Ramsay's concern and thoughtfulness, stating "No hablo" repeatedly.

Tooth Fairy Busted On eBay

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Jeanne McKnight, DDS, known to millions of children around the world simply as the Tooth Fairy, is alleged to have earned up to $175,000 over a 2 year period selling enamel necklaces, dentin bracelets and other "unique and unusual" collectibles on eBay, an internet auction site, in direct violation of International Fairy Federation regulations. IFF officials reportedly nabbed McKnight on May 12, 2000 in Salt Lake City, UT, where she was found placing a quarter beneath the pillow of a sleeping undercover agent at approximately 3AM. Prior attempts in the evening to apprehend her in 4 other states had been unsuccessful.

Remember: Quality Without The Q Is Just Uality!