Q Fever! Medical Humor & Satire
www.qfever.com

October 10, 2001 | Volume 2, Issue 8

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Top Ten CDC Objectives For “Healthy People 2010″

10. 20% of population able to "clean and jerk" Danny DeVito
9. Diminish sexually transmitted diseases 35% by encouraging frumpy appearance
8. People with thick, lumpy toenails eliminated from population entirely
7. Decrease fracture risk by encouraging adoption of puffy, rubberized suits by all youth
6. Poverty associated with poor health, so encourage people to be rich
5. Decrease falls by firmly attaching 15% of elderly to ceiling
4. Reduce by half the incidence of hydatidiform moles, hydatidiform badgers, and hydatidiform racoons.
3. Stamp out dental disease through national "GnawHealthy" program
2. Expand needle-exchange programs to include knitting needle exchange vans for seniors
1. Enhance safer sex efforts: flavored condoms to be available in Smoky Bacon, Sauerkraut n' Relish, and Spicy Taquito flavors




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