Internship & Residency
Elective Time
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Dr. Karl Newman
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Accredited postgraduate medical training
programs allow residents several months of "elective time,"
which can be used to explore areas of particular interest. Since such
time is limited, it is important that electives be allocated properly.
This month, Q Fever!'s I&R
correspondent, Dr. Karl Newman, shares his hints on maximizing
the value of: Elective Time.
Hey there! Watch where you're
walking! That's right: you're steppin' on my hand!
That's cuz' I'm writing this column
curled up restfully on the floor of the Endocrine Clinic, doing my...
Endocrine Elective!
If you're like me, you couldn't give
two hoots about that hypothalamic-pituitary-axis-of-evil thing, but
let's face it: there's NO better way to catch up on some much-needed
sleep than a few weeks of Endocrinology.
And for you wackos out there,
remember that a good 50% of the patients are bearded women, dwarves,
giants, and men with breasts... if ya wanted to see 'em at the Ripley's
Believe It Or Not Museum, it'd set ya back six bucks! And you'd
have to go all the way to Niagara Falls!
So listen up what Karl be sayin':
1. Use It
Wisely
Huh?! That's right, Stan -
elective time's tighter than a Ricky Martin buttock clench, so ya gotta
plan ahead. Be sure to check with the folks you're doing the elective
with at least 24 hours ahead of time, to make sure they
can accomodate you.
There's nothing worse than sauntering
up to some consult attending and hollerin' "Yo! Wit' you fo'
da month!" only to be told that the consult team already consists
of 2 fellows, 4 residents, 8 German medical students, a valet, a cook,
and 3 battle-hardened Navy S.E.A.L.'s. In other words: you ain't
be welcome!
It's like my Uncle Chaim used to say:
Don't let the other guy eat
your lunch;
Wait 'till he turn around, then aim, then PUNCH!
2. S'a Great Time To See The World
Whaddafuh? Yeah, you heard
me. With America's popularity worldwide hitting new heights every day,
this is a great time to find out how they practice ophthalmology in
Yemen or gastroenterology in Pakistan.
I recommend sewing a U.S. flag on
your backpack; maybe on your clothes too. Nothing says "treat me
right" like flashin' the good old Stars and Stripes!
Make sure to insist on doing full
"well-woman" exams while you're there, too. They'll appreciate
your interest and dedication, and'll be sure to let you know it. Truss
me!
3. It Gotta Jive With Future Career
Plans
Mozzafuddawhadda? Tha's right,
sheriff. What was it my grandma 'Bubbie' used to say? Oh yeah:
A tailor sews, and a baker bakes,
But you just sit around this house doing nothing.
In other words, it's important to
use your elective time to acquire the skills you'll need to survive
as a doc in the real world. So, while I'm not saying you should
definitely do a knife-fighting elective... look, just don't dismiss
it out of hand, OK?
Other frequently overlooked elective
opportunities include:
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Practicums in chart doctoring and document shredding |
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Electives focused on hole digging, burrowing, and gnawing |
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Electives where you learn how to summon a waiter with a crisp
snap of your fingers |
