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Despite SARS Scare, Travel
To Affected Areas Deemed “Safe”
“Just don't come back,” says CDC
ATLANTA, GA-–The Centers For Disease Control
(CDC) announced at a press conference today that,
despite earlier warnings from the World Health Organization (WHO), travel
to SARS-affected areas such as China, Hong Kong, and Canada is “absolutely
safe.”
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| SARS Virus |
“The notion that the SARS virus should keep
a person from traveling is nonsense,” said CDC spokesperson Robert
Matherly.
“It’s the part where you come back
to the U.S., is where the problem is.”
“We believe,” continued Matherly, “that [the WHO] acted
out of an irrational and misguided sense of fear when their travel advisory
was issued. There is simply no need whatsoever to cancel or postpone
travel anywhere, so by all means, travel.”
“In fact, bring your loved ones. Stay for a
while. We think you’ll rather enjoy what Canada, for example, has
to offer: White Fang. World-class bacon. Dudley Do-right and the Royal
Mounted Police. And we here at the CDC pledge to assist you in obtaining
a temporary one-year visa, or even permanent Canadian citizenship if you
so desire.”
According to the CDC, simple precautions that can
help prevent the spread of SARS by U.S. travelers include frequent hand-washing,
not touching mucous membranes such as the eyes or nose, wearing facemasks
while in the airport and on the plane, and remaining hydrated by drinking
plenty of fluids.
“Oh, and most importantly,” added Matherly,
“whatever you do, do not come back here. Not to the U.S.,
you’re not. No way. Don’t even think about it. Nope.
No can do.”
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